Tuesday, May 29, 2012


Feel like its definitely necessary to provide a brief update regarding the recent trip to Ireland! First, gotta thank the crew that came with/did me a favor in coming - Nick (Frenzuh), Brandon (Mazurite), and Gabe ($indabank111).

The trip got off to a somewhat rough start with Brandon being really sick, like walking dead/crack head sick - We all pulled an all night'er the night before heading out because Nick and I kind of suck at sleeping proper schedules in general, which didn't help Brandon's case at all so by the time we got to security he got insta-separated and searched for resin/other drug paraphernalia.. He checked out (he's just sick damnit!) and we shuffled off toward the plane to catch a few hours of sleep... The first flight checked out fine, no problems/nothing exciting/etc..

Once we got into Toronto, we went in search of flight number 2 and Gabriel, aka $indabank111. None of us had met him, so there was some concern about whether or not he would be weird/serial killer/etc.. but he checked out/lived up to the Skype hype and everything went smoothly - Then we got onto plane number 2... Now nothing bad is about to happen on plane number two, but it was much more entertaining than flight number 1.

So despite being 4 degenerate poker players who fail at real life on the regular, we managed to have tickets/etc and get on the plane without a hitch. We took the standard line of boarding/putting away our bags and sitting down waiting for take off and crossing our fingers hoping that the person on our left/right wouldn't weigh 300 pounds or be crazy, psychotic, 55 year old drunk bitches who end up puking everywhere - Unfortunately, Brandon got stiffed with the latter.

So everything was going as planned, when an older woman staggers on as the last passenger to find her seat and manages to land to Brandon's direct left - (She's got position on him so clearly she's gonna cause problems) She throws her purse down on her seat and opens the overhead bin to find a bag in "her" luggage compartment.. Now, as the last person to board the plane you should probably expect compartment space to be worse for wear, and to have to shop around a bit trying to find space. This woman seemed to have missed the memo, and seemed to be publicly accusing/asking the entire plane, "Whose black bag is in my bin". As you can imagine, no one said anything for about 30 seconds. It wasn't until she asked that same question several times that some guy stepped up and asked what difference it made, she was the last person on the plane and she'd have to find baggage space elsewhere... He was clearly outing himself as the perpetrator of her baggage space, but seemed more interested in confronting her about it than giving in. I personally began to find this whole thing entertaining, at which point we tried to engage in a prop bet about how long it would take her to tool out about Brandon's illness/etc - All the while doing our very best not to blink and miss the verbal brawl that was taking place over overhead bag space between two people 40+.. Eventually the peer mediator (flight attendant) had to come and sit the kids down/handle the guys bag (the woman wouldn't let her bags go somewhere she couldn't quickly reach them) and the fight was settled. Now back to the prop bet, Nick and Gabe are nits - Well maybe not Nick, but Gabe managed to convince Nick that I should somehow be laying odds that a woman is gonna tool out on the plane about Brandon, which I thought was absurd - So just as the words left my mouth that I had to pass on their nitty approach to life, we heard something to the effect of "Oh my God, whats wrong with you - are you taking medication or something.. excuse me flight attendant..." I should've laid some odds, but w.e. - She starts tooling a little bit, nothing major - and to be honest nothing too exciting to keep me from falling asleep, so that's what I do..

Now I'm asleep for some length of time that can only be deemed as not long enough - Because I woke up before the flight was over, and its to an extremely loud crash.. Now when you're on a plane, this isn't what you wanna hear when you wake up, so like any normal person I leaped out of my seat (should probably have fastened seat belt but whatever) and migrated to where I heard the noise. I poke my head around the corner, (we have the emergency exit seat so there's an aisle with a wall right where we are sitting) and I hear "Fuck, fuck, fuck.. Oh my fuck.." Now being a nice guy and not knowing what the fuck is going on, as well as discerning that there's a 50 year old woman sprawled across the floor, I offer to help.. My offer is met only with a blank gaze of bewilderment, and she looked a little pissed off so I just went back to my seat thinking she's crazy and I'm probably better off just avoiding her as much as possible.. It wasn't until I reached my seat that Brandon was mouthing, "Dude she's been having double double's of Vodka the whole trip, she's toast!!!!"

This post is long enough - but the next one goes more in depth about how crazy she is as well as how sick Ireland was once we got there..


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    Best regards, Andrea Bianchi

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